The 50 Rules of Living in the Avengers Tower
by timeladyavenger
Summary: If you are by chance going to be staying at the Avengers Tower, this is just a simple list of things the team is not allowed to do. If you catch any of them trying to break these rules please stop it immediately.
1. Rule 1

_A/N: So I've seen so many people do things related to this topic so I thought I'd give it a shot. I'm sorry I've been away for a while and deleted 'Blood York City, NY'. It's just, with my other two stories I was so happy to write them, happy to post them and happy to hear feedback. But with BYC, NY I didn't get that happiness. Sure I was happy when I wrote it months prior to having an account but I felt like the overall product was my worst piece of writing. I deleted every trace of the story. But luckily now I have a story where I get all that happiness again. So I present to you RULE #1!_

_~o~o~o~_

Rule #1- Tony is no longer allowed to dare Steve to yell 'THIS IS AMERICA!' everytime someone asks if he's free.

Steve was sitting in his bedroom doodling in his notebook when Jennifer knocked on the door.

"Hey Steve my schedules kind of tight this week. The only day I can train is Wednesday, are you free then."

Steve slammed his notebook down on his desk making Jennifer jump at the sound.

"OF COURSE I'M FREE JENNIFER! THIS IS AMERICA!"

"Yeah I know this is a free country but are you free Wednesday?"

"I'M ALWAYS FREE JENNIFER! THIS IS AMERICA!"

"Okay Steve I got that can you just tell me if you're free…"

"EVERYONE IS FREE JENNIFER! THIS…"

"I GET IT! THIS IS AMERICA! BUT JUST ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION! ARE YOU AVAILABLE FOR TRAINING WEDNESDAY OR NOT?!"

"Yes I'm available." Steve said a little terrified She Hulk was going to make an appearance.

"GOOD SEE YOU THEN!" Jennifer screamed before storming off mumbling something about being surrounded by idiots.

"The hell was that all about?" Clint asked walking up to Steve's door frame.

"Tony dared me to yell "this is America" everytime someone asked me if I'm free. He said everyone would just laugh about it. But it looked like I pushed Jennifer to her limit."_  
_

"You really need to stop listening to Tony, wing head."

_~o~o~o~_

_A/N: So there's this drawing of Tony asking Steve if he's free and Steve's response was "Of course I'm free Tony. I'm American!" So that basically inspired this and I thought I'd just throw in Tony's trickery to make it my own. So there is going to be no date for when I update this story, it's just going to be at random. So...yeah! Review, favorite and follow if you thought this rule was funny and tune in next time for Rule #2!_

_Oh and if you're wondering what happened at the end of BYC,NY; Loki's monster was defeated as was he, Peter declined the offer to join the team, Thor went back to Asgard for another trial against Loki and while he was gone the rest of the team took a month long vacation to the Caribbean. _


	2. Rule 2

Rule #2- Clint is not allowed to ask for high fives when the ladies don't have a bra on

Bruce and Clint were sent to get Jennifer out of her room for early morning team building exercises. Bruce didn't think about knocking on Jen's door first and walked in to find a startled expression on her face and her hands clutching her bare breasts. Bruce slammed the door shut as she screamed at him to get out. Clint smirked before re opening the door with a genius plan. Well a genius plan to him.

"Hey she-freak high five" Clint said holding his hand up.

Bruce tried pulling Clint back as soon as she started walking up to him but Clint refused to leave.

"Hey bird brain high fist." Jennifer said before swiftly covering both her breasts with her left arm and punching Clint in the face with her spare arm.

Clint flopped backwards and crashed in to the wall while holding his bloody nose.

"I'll be at the gym in a few minutes makes sure he gets that blood wiped up." Jennifer said.

Jennifer closed her door as Bruce helped Clint up and took him to the infirmary before heading back to the gym.

Short Epilogue: For the entire session Clint avoided Jennifer to the best of his abilities and endured Tony and Natasha mocking him for getting taken down by a half naked woman.

~o~o~o~

_A/N: Oh did I forget to mention some rules have short epilogues? Well they do. So I've seen a lot of photos of guys trying to get high fives from topless woman and I thought well Jen's not that kind of gal. And I know you're all probably thinking Natasha would've been better for the story but I wanted Clint to have a minor injury. So because I am in a really good mood today I decided to post the second rule. But that's all I'm posting for today._

_Review, favorite and follow if you like the first two rules and tune in next time for Rule #3!_


	3. Rule 3

Rule #3- Jennifer is not allowed to jump on people to wake them up

It was May 1st meaning it was time for the team's monthly fight simulation. Bruce had been in the lab with Tony up until 3:00 when Pepper finally came in and sent them to bed so basically he has only gotten five hours of sleep.

Jennifer was sent to wake him up as she could easily tame the hulk if he popped out (and because Pepper was still trying to wake Tony up). She quietly opened the door to find him sprawled out on the bed peacefully sleeping. She hated to wake him up but she had to. She walked up to the side of his bed and leaned in close to his ear about to tell him what Fury told her to say.

"GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED!" Jennifer screamed causing Bruce to scramble around the bed in shock.

"What the hell Jen?!" He said rubbing his eye.

"It's May 1st meaning it's time for the monthly fight simulation."

"I'm not in the mood. Wake me when it's noon."

Bruce face planted back in to his pillow making Jennifer roll her eyes. She then started taking away his pillows and throwing them across the room.

"You going to get up now?"

"Nope. I can deal without pillows."

In retaliation to the comment Jennifer ripped off his blankets transferring Bruce from his sprawled out position in to a more curled up position.

"Seriously?!"

"What did you think I only ran around warm places?"

"For pete's sake do I have to hulk out and drag you out of the room?!"

"I'm the original hulk, you've got nothing on me."

Jennifer let out a sigh and walked to the end of the room so she was facing the end of Bruce's bed.

"I didn't think I'd have to do this Bruce but you've left me no choice."

Jennifer charged for the bed and at the last second leapt in to the air and jumped on top of Bruce like a jungle cat pouncing on it's pray. Bruce let out a cry of pain before Jennifer pinned him down by the shoulders.

"Are you going to get out of bed now?"

"You know what? This wasn't funny when you were five and it still isn't when you're thirty-one!"

Bruce bucked his body to the side knocking him and Jennifer off the bed. He sat on top of Jennifer pinning her shoulders down as she did with him.

"Alright you win, you got me up. But remember this I will get you back eventually. So you better watch your back Walters."

Bruce got off of Jennifer and left for the bathroom while she walked out of the room a little frightened at all the things her cousin could do as payback.

Short Epilogue: A couple days later Jennifer came back to the tower from work late at night and was so tired she plopped down on the couch. As Bruce was walking back to the lab he noticed Jennifer lying there exhausted and saw his chance. He ran to the couch, leapt on top of her and smiled as a colorful word came out of her mouth.

"Doesn't feel good, does it?" He whispered in to her ear.

"You win Banner."

The smile was still across Bruce's face as he got up and helped Jennifer up as well.

"I could walk you to your room if you want." Bruce stated.

"No, I get the feeling you'd push me in to a wall."

"Now you're just being harsh with me cous."

"Oh save it." Jennifer said picking up her briefcase and walking away.

"Alright. Good night."

Jennifer turned around just to make sure Bruce wasn't standing right behind her. She had some final word's for Bruce before she could walk away.

"You can be a real dick, y'know that?"

"Yes, but you still love me."

"Yeah. Yeah I do."

~o~o~o~

_A/N: So there was this part in 'Bruce Banner' by ANimATion ImAgInAtIoN where Bruce is feeling depressed by his mother's death and Jen's trying to cheer him up. So while he's under the covers she jumps on top of him and I thought that was really cute and would kind of be a funny inside thing between them, so that's why I wrote this. __I'm sooooo sorry I haven't updated in awhile. I've just been kinda busy wandering other parts of the internet and doing my own thing (basically it's been a long time since I was last on the site). _

_But anyway I will try to update this a little more often so...yeah! Y'know the drill; review, favorite and follow if you're enjoying reading about the antics of Earth's Mightiest Heroes and tune in next time for Rule#4!_

_P.S. Thank you MarvelAndDCWriter for pointing out my number mistake; the original Rule #3 I thought was very out of character so I deleted it. Still thank you! :)  
_


	4. Rule 4

Rule #4- The team is not allowed to have a car wash again unless they're actually going to wash cars

Earth's Mightiest Heroes were forced to do a car wash to help with their teamwork. They were living at the Avengers mansion currently (which was their back up headquarters/home) due to a rat infestation back at the tower.

They were outside the front of the property cleaning some S.H.I.E.L.D. cars when Clint threw a wet sponge at Jennifer's face. In retaliation Jennifer grabbed the hose to spray Clint but the assassin ducked causing Jennifer to accidentally spray Bruce in the crotch. Bruce looked down at his shorts then to Jennifer before grabbing a bucket of water intending to hit Jennifer but ended up splashing Janet.

Pretty soon a water battle broke out between the Avengers including water guns, sponges and balloons that were hidden in the shed (nobody asked Tony why he had all these things prepped and ready in the shed). Tony not even looking where he was throwing his water balloon smacked an already angry Nick Fury in the face.

"DAMN IT STARK!" Fury screamed.

Everybody dropped their weapons and stood in shock. Fury looked at the drenched team then saw half the vehicles were slightly clean while the other half were still dirty. He walked around picking up all the water guns and sponges then called the car wash off. But that didn't stop them from throwing water balloons at each other.

~o~o~o~

_A/N: So I was inspired by the first chapter of this called 'The Avengers Raise Money' (it's in my favorites) because I thought it was funny how Tony and Steve technically got in to a water fight (spoiler) but I wanted the whole team to participate in it and I wanted to write something that would introduce the Avengers Mansion. _

_MarvelAndDCWriter: I'm glad you think Rule #1 is the best of the three (four now), I found the idea funny as well. Btw, love your icon! :)__  
_

_codegirl96: Ha yes, now that I think about Bruce did sound a little like Tony. But then again sassy Bruce is my favorite Bruce._

_Review, favorite and follow if you're enjoying the story and tune in next time for Rule #5 (it's one of my favorite rules that I've written)_


	5. Rule 5

Rule #5- Thor is not allowed to do a canon ball in to a pool

During the time of the rat infestation at the tower, it was a warm sunny day as the Avengers were outside by the outdoor pool at the mansion.

Coulson and Maria were on lifeguard duty, Tony, Pepper, Bruce and Jennifer were sitting in pool chairs having a nice conversation, Clint and Natasha were sparring in the pool and Steve and Janet were chatting in the pool on their floaties far away from Clint and Natasha. But Thor was no where to be found.

Suddenly he jumped off the tallest diving board there and at the last second screamed "CANON BALL!"

The splash was so huge that Natasha, Clint, Steve and Janet were all shot out of the pool and hit the fence, Pepper, Jennifer, Bruce and Tony were blasted with water causing them to get completely drenched and the same goes for Coulson and Maria.

Thor rose out of the pool with a small amount of water, leaving a small crater of where his butt landed.

"Man of iron, did I do the dive you midgardians call 'the canon ball' correctly?" Thor asked

"NO! YOU DID IT HORRIBLY WRONG!" Tony said immediately spitting out water after he was done answering.

Short Epilogue: After a long time of convincing Tony, Pepper finally got Thor to be allowed by the pool. He's just not allowed to touch or look at the diving boards. As for the pool outside it's still getting repaired.

~o~o~o~

_A/N: There was this fic called 'Avenger Experiment' where the team was playing in the pool and Thor made a big splash but then I thought what if the splash was a little bigger and then this happened. So that's about it. Review, favorite and follow if you wish too and tune in next time for Rule #6 (another favorite)_


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